T450 and her DP were out visiting this weekend and we went to see "V for Vendetta" on the IMAX screen at the Sony Metreon threatre in SF. I know that there are many that did not like this film, either because they felt it glamorizes terrorism (I happen to think it asks important questions about how we label violence and about when and if violence is ever warranted) or because it feels like a strange mixture of Phantom of the Opera and 1984 (I can't really argue with that, but I didn't find it off-putting).  But I thought it was a very well done combination of action, style, and substance and has, frankly, made me think, at the least about become more politically active and, at the most about emigrating and taking all my loved ones with me.

The first action (becoming more politically active) is based on my belief that I have a responsibility in how this country turns out, that I have a voice and I should use it. The second is based on the fear of what, if despite our best efforts, freedom fails? What if more people in this country either don't care enough to speak out or, that those who do, care more about protecting and promoting their way of life (yes, religious right, I'm talking to you) than about preserving the basic rights and freedoms of all Americans.

For example, it kills me that people choose to take a small passage from the bible to justify their intolerance and oppression of homosexuals and then claim that they aren't intolerant (love the sinner, not the sin!), they are just following the teachings of their church--

Leviticus 18:22

(King James Version)
You shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (Revised Standard Version)
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.

Okay, so they are just following the teachings of the Bible-- but what about the rest of the Bible, or at least, the rest of that chapter?

Leviticus is part of the Mosaic Laws in the Bible which are all but
ignored in modern society and according to the Bible itself were
rescinded by Jesus himself. Laws laid out in that same section of the Bible include laws against:

• Planting Two Crops in the same field (Leviticus 19:19)
• Wearing Garments made of two different fibers (Leviticus 19:19)
• Contact with a female during her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24)
• Touching the Skin of a Dead Pig (Leviticus 11:6-8)
• Male having a haircut - especially having the hair around the temples cut (Leviticus 19:27)
• Wearing glasses or afflicted with pimples, acne or excema etc. (Leviticus 21:20)
• Being a Homosexual (Leviticus 18:22)
• Curse, Blaspheme or otherwise take the lords name in vain (Leviticus 24:10-16)
• Eat Shellfish (inclusive of prawns, crabs, lobster etc) (Leviticus 11:10)

(Taken from Superdrewby.com , not to mention the Bible, itself.)

Actually, it's fine with me if people want to pick and choose what to follow and believe in the bible and what to ignore, and if they and their church don't want to support homosexuality-- fine, don't allow gay marriage ceremonies to be performed in your church.

When I was a child, I was taught (in school,
believe it or not) that what made our country so great and so different
than those who came before it, was our founding principles-- like
separation of church and state and freedom of speech. I support the right of Ku Klux Klan members to get together and spout
their hateful rhetoric, but I don't support legally denying African-Americans their rights, just as I support those Christians who don't
believe in gay marriage not allowing it in their churches, but don't
support laws against gay marriage. I was taught that
the protection and promotion of civil rights is what allows our society to
continue to evolve from a place of prejudice and oppression to a land
of freedom and opportunity.

I am reminded of a speech given by fictional President Andrew Sheppard in "The American President" (I took the liberty of changing the name "Bob Rumson," who is Sheppard's Republican rival, to George W. Bush, I think it still works):

For the record: Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU
But the more important question is why aren't you, George?
This is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question "Why would the president, his
party's most powerful spokesman, choose
to reject upholding the Constitution?"

If you can answer that question, then, folks, you're smarter than I am,
because I didn't understand it until a couple of minutes ago.

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight.
It's gonna say, "You
want free speech?
Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's
standing center stage and advocating, at the top of his lungs, that
which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of
your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its
citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest."

Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you
can stand up and sing about the land of the free.

When did it become okay to try and skip the difficult part of being an American? As I point out in the Ku Klux Klan example, allowing someone else their rights does not mean that you agree with them. Why, to use the example that I have been using, should those who oppose gay marriage for religious reasons get to take away the rights of homosexuals to choose who they wish to marry?

The speech continues...

We have serious problems
to solve, and we need serious people to solve them.
And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, George W. Bush is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested
in two things and two things only: Making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections.

You gather a group of
middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with
longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American
values and character.
Then you wave an old photo of the President's girlfriend. You scream
about patriotism and you tell them she's to blame for their lot in
life, you go on television and you call her a whore.

Only instead of taking a picture of the Democratic opponent's girlfriend with a burning flag, George W. Bush waved around the controversy over gay marriage, abortion, and stem-cells (which, in my opinion are very serious issues that GWB trivialized by using them as a diversion from his blatant failures in Iraq, because I personally believe GWB doesn't give a crap about ANY of those issues, except in terms of what exploiting them can do to help him gain/ maintain power). He claimed that Kerry was a "waffler" and preyed on the fears of average Americans by telling them that Kerry couldn't be counted on for strong leadership in an era of global terrorism because he had the gall to have complex opinions and approaches to complex problems.

(This is not to say that there were not other problems with Kerry's
campaign, but that I was frustrated that people chose to see Kerry's
giving complex answers about complex problems, as opposed to Bush's
oversimplified but straightforward answers, as "waffling" as opposed to
not dumbing-down complex issues with one-size-fits-all solutions.)

When did having a leader with the capacity for abstract thinking become a bad thing?

When did having a leader who uses the fear of his people to justify decimating their civil rights (a la the Patriot Act) become a good thing?

When We The People allow it to.

After the movie, T450, her DP, my DP and I stayed up late talking about
the state of this country and the world. I am a member of both the ACLU and HRC and I vote.
It's strange and sad that when I signed up, I was acutely aware that
publicly aligning myself with such groups could easily put me on a
list of the suspicious/ undesirable should the US return to it's
McCarthy era ways (like, I don't know, the president secretly wire-tapping people). BUT, I did it anyway, because I could not let fear and my desire for security stand in the way of
supporting causes I believe in. The future UK in the film is the worst
of what can happen when people trade freedom for the illusion of
security.

So, now I'm figuring out what else I can do to stand up for the principles I believe in. I so didn't want to become an activist, but that may be the slippery slope I am headed down.

In somewhat related news, JenniferZ wrote a wonderful, thoughtful post called "Canaries" about possible cumulative effects of environmental toxins-- are our children our canaries? Is the increase in childhood disorders (think Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorders) and diseases (Asthma, allergies/ food sensitivities) a sign that our poisoning/ destruction of our environment is hitting a critical threshold?

*"Jeux Sans Frontiers" is French for "Games Without Frontiers" from a song of the same name by Peter Gabriel

Dear Xanga,

For months, nay, years, you have begged, cajoled and manipulated me into
upgrading to premium. You have taunted me with flashing ads, appealed
to my sense of decency by counting the days that I have used you
without considering your needs (money) and, finally tempted me with a little
taste of premium (pretty photos-- but only a few). Now, when at last
you have broken me, your error-riddled server is all that stands between
you getting what you said you want and me getting what I have been
finally convinced that I want. So, that's how it is, eh? You're all
about the chase? Now that you think you have me, you don't want me?

While your coqettishness is, admittedly, a turn on, you better start
putting out, honey, before those tarts at Blogger and Livejournal start
turning my head.

What's that you say? You have blogrings that they don't? Well, I can
always pull a feebeeglee and put a pointer on this blog. That's right,
I said it. And, I'll do it, too.

Think about it, Xanga, but don't think too long.

mischievium

Right now you (yes, you right there) are missing out on pretty photos
and other protected content. Leave a comment if you'd like to be added
to my protected list.

Your Own Personal Mischievium

Come and tell me just what you think of me...

I promise NZ pictures are coming...

Straight to the Point

No, he didn't.

On our last night in Auckland (and all of New Zealand, for that matter)
we sat on a bench near the waterfront talking about the possibility of
DP asking to be assigned to one of his company's overseas offices (like
in Sydney! or Zurich! or London!) so that we could live abroad for a
year or so. We talked about it before, but I brought it up again and
said that if it's really something we want to do, than we need to get
serious about it and come up with a time line and start looking in to
things like Visas and work permits-- like, if his company was able to
sponsor a visa/work permit for him, is there any provision for
partners? To this he replied that there probably was something like
that for spouses, but his didn't know about "partners." To which I
jokingly replied, "well, we should look in to that, cuz we certainly
wouldn't want to get married or anything... ever... that would be
awful." )

So, then I got to the point. I told him a lot of people, myself
included, had thought he might propose to me on this trip. That I had
thought about talking to him before the trip, so as to take the
expectation and pressure off, if that's not what he was planning, but
that I knew he wanted it to be a surprise and that talking about it
ahead of time would have ruined his chance to surprise me, if he was
planning to propose. And that the reason I was upset the night we
couldn't dine in the nice restaurant at the Chateau Tongariro because
he didn't have the right shoes, wasn't because of the shoes. He kept
offering at later points in the trip to go look for a pair of dress
shoes (which he needs anyway) so we could go out to a nice dinner and I
kept wanting to throw a shoe at him and yell "that's SO not the point!"
I was upset that night because it had finally sunken in to me that he
really wasn't going to propose (though I did give him the rest of the
trip to do it, in case I was mistaken). His response was that he knew a
lot of people, including me, had that expectation and that he "had
plans" but, between the holidays and planning for the trip, he "ran out
of time." He said this very sweetly, with tears welling up in his eyes.

I gently pointed out that if he knew that I might be expecting him to
propose and that he knew it wasn't going to happen, it would have been
nice for HIM to bring it up before the trip (since I was not in a
position to do so, see above re: "surprise"). He said he had thought
about it, but "didn't want to disappoint" me. A small, exasperated
"Grrrrrrrr" rumbled around in my head, but I was able to restrain it
before it traveled down to my throat. I took a deep breath and, again,
gently pointed out that I was going to be disappointed either way, but
I would have been less disappointed if he had addressed it earlier.
Because, really, my anxiety was less about whether it was or wasn't
going to happen on the trip, and more about whether or not we were on
the same general page-- even though I was fairly certain we were.

The problem is this: I was blind-sided by my parents' divorce. Not only
that they we're getting one, but that the reason for it was that my
father had been having an affair for a long time. I would never have
believed that my father was that kind of man. I would never have
believed that he wouldn't have given their marriage his full effort (i.e.
counseling, etc.) before throwing in the towel. And that even if he
did, that he would honor and respect my mother enough to get a divorce
before moving on. The end result for me (well, one among many), is that
I now doubt my intuition when it comes to relationships, especially
with men. I am afraid to be blind-sided again. So, even though I really
believed that DP wanted to marry me, that he was ready to propose and
would do it soon (either on the trip or not), there was a little part
of me that was terrified that I was wrong.

It's funny, when DP said "I know that you're the one for me, I'm not
afraid of marriage and I'm not afraid of marrying you," the first image
that popped in to my head is a scene in "The Empire Strikes Back" where
Luke tells Yoda that he's not afraid of facing the Dark Side and Darth
Vader and Yoda solemnly responds "You will be. You will be." )

Anyway, so that's it. My intuition is not off. He is planning to
propose and soon. He won't give me anymore details (like I asked him if
he had a ring picked out and he said that was a secret).

Next post will actually be about New Zealand... and maybe with pics!

CLUELESS

I'm going to make this short because I have an ear infection (a story for another time, but this is an honest to goodness, swollen-lymph-nodes-around-the-ear-painful-went-to-the-doctor-in-NZ ear infection) and I need to go pack and get some sleep. We are now in Wellington and went to the (do I need to say it again?) BEAUTIFUL botanic gardens today. We leave for Picton (on the South Island) tomorrow.

No ring. Really convinced at this point that it's not going to happen-- which is actually not ruining the trip for me, though DP has been on the recieving end of some unexplained (to him) bitchiness. Not too much, but if things play out, as I imagine they will, it will all make a lot more sense to him on the plane home when I explain it to him. Because apparently I'm going to have to. Because apparently, despite the fact that EVERY SINGLE PERSON who I told about the trip who knew how long he and I have been together BEFORE I SAID ANYTHING about it, asked-- Oh, do you think he's going to propose? He's clueless. The man has a fricking PhD from MIT and not a single clue why I might be a little upset with him.

I really AM having a good time on this trip, but there are just moments when I want to reach across and just smack him a little.

The Most Beautiful Lake I Have Ever Seen

We just got back from a sail boat cruise around part of Lake Taupo (the largest fresh water lake in New Zealand). I don't know if I can describe the enormity of this lake, the shocking clarity of it's blue-green water, or the beauty of the surronding hills. The interesting backstory is that the lake sits in the vast crater left behind when a huge volcano erupted about 26,500 years ago. So you can get a picture of how major an eruption this was, ash from that explosion has been found as far away as Greenland. Anyway, we sailed/motored (the wind was too calm today to sail alone) aboard the Barbary out to very large Maori rock carvings-- and actually got to jump off the boat and swim around right near the carvings (pictures to come when I get home). The swimming was definitely my favorite part, even if it did take me a few minutes to get used to the water temperature (a little cool, but refreshing on a hot day like today). The water was so clear that I could see the giant boulders sitting on the lake floor below me.

We're off to Tongariro National Park tomorrow.

PS Still ringless, FYI.

PPS As of today (1/26) DP and I have officially been together for 4 years! Yay us!

PPPS It's actually 1/27 in NZ.

Sky of Blue and Sea of Green

A very quick update-- got to NZ (or NZed, as they say) okay. Air New
Zealand is a pretty nice airline-- food was mediocre, leg room still
bordering on sadistic, but they have individual TVs for each passenger
and a wide selection of movies On Demand-- including relatively recent
ones like The Constant Gardener, Broken Flowers, etc. Of course, since
I am on vacation and therefore not looking for anything that might
require any semblance of intellectual functioning I watched "Just Like
Heaven" (pretty bad, even according to me) and "The 40 Year-old
Virgin", which I saw in the theatre and loved ( I have weakness for
comedies like this, I also loved "Dodgeball" and "Anchorman"). For
those of you who haven't seen it, it is a lot less raunchy and more
sweet than you might expect. Also a perk of travelling internationally,
for those so inclined, was the wine/beer which flowed freely from the
second we hit cruising altitude until we started our descent. I am
actually not much of a drinker (unless you count a Midori Sour once
every 3 years), but DP got a little tipsy, which was fun to watch. It's
about a 13 hour flight if you fly directly from SF to Auckland and,
though my feet were quite swollen at the end of it, it was better than
I expected.

Crap.. running out of time again, stupid internet cafes... better make this quick, then. Had 2 days
of beautiful weather in Auckland and left for Rotorua today and it has
POURED all day (will elaborate on this later).

Given the lack of replies to my former post, I hope I didn't offend anyone. Sorry if I did.

No sign of ring. Trying
not to obsess. Don't really think it's going to happen on this trip. Might happen when we go to Tongariro.
We'll see.

On Religion

Jean-Paul
Sartre said "Hell is other people"-- and that can certainly feel true.
There are people in the world who will manipulate you, lie to you, tear
you down, but in the end I believe that other people are also heaven.
There are people who will teach you, lift you up, and move you-- and
the amazing thing is, they are often the same people.




I <3 the poet Khalil Gibran and his poem "On Love" (from his work "The Prophet") comes to mind:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.

And so ends the mischievium sermon on religion. )