Will He, Won't He?

Soooo... in less than a week (!) DP and I are going to New Zealand for
2 1/2 weeks. This is our first real use-our-passports vacation together
(we've traveled together before, but mostly to see our respective
families or go to weddings or to go skiing). Our 4 year
anniversary will happen while we are there. This is leading many
(including me, my mother, my brothers, his mother, his grandmother) to wonder whether DP will use this as an opportunity to
get one step closer to becoming my DH, that is, will he propose while
we are in New Zealand?

We've talked about getting married-- in fact we talk about it as if
it's a given. We've discussed having children (see comments in post
below re: babies). And regarding proposing, he said awhile back that he
wanted to be able to take a vacation and go somewhere special (I
remember him saying that, I don't know if he remembers him saying that). He has also said he wants it to be a surprise-- and I am not an easy person to surprise.

The thing is this, what if he's not planning to propose while we are in
NZ? I don't want to spend the whole vacation waiting for it to happen,
then be disappointed when it doesn't. I want to be able to enjoy our
vacation. BUT, if I broach the subject before hand, then that ruins the
surprise. SOOOO... I am not going to bring it up. I will give him his
opportunity to "surprise me."

But you can bet your life that if it doesn't happen I will bring it up
on the plane ride home, if only because he is going to wonder why I
seem so upset. Let's see, it's a 13 hour plane ride? Thirteen hours
sounds like enough time to spend discussing our relationship. I know it
sounds like I'm making an ultimatum or setting a trap for him, I am
really trying not to. It's not like it will be the end of our
relationship if he doesn't propose while we are there. I really think
we are on the same page, but, if we're not, then we will need to
discuss in depth where we both stand because DUDE it's been 4 YEARS.
Don't be all taking like you are planning to marry me and want to hold
my baby (he actually said that), if you aren't really planning to. And
if you ARE PLANNING TO, then we need to talk about WHEN because this is
my life and my future, too.

I will say this, however, if he is planning to do it, then he's more sly
than I give him credit for because there's been no hint of any ring
buying going on (other than that over Christmas he found a clever way
to try and get my ring size). And perhaps that's what's making me
nervous (the fact that he is actually being this good at keeping a
secret). Hmmn....

Meowwww.... I'm Such a Copycat

Ok, So My New Year's Goals are:

-get in better physical shape
-do more creative things (learn to knit, write more)
-get married (or get the planning started, starting with the engagement)
-get pregnant (why? cuz I'm turning 29 this year, byotch. This goal may
not happen this year, but I am stating my intention to the universe.)
-get new glasses

Somebody's having a baby today... YAY!!!

So, as thank yous to some people at work who helped me during my first
year at work I bought some of those tumblers from Starbucks where you
can unscrew the bottom and make your own inserts. Okay, so they're
supposed to be for kids, so that kids can make a mug for their parents,
or have something to do while mom drinks her double caramel latte, but
I think they made nice handmade/ personalized gifts. Anyway, I liked
them so much, I took pictures. I plan to make a few more as gifts for
the holidays.

Sorry about the blurriness, we are working on getting a new camera.

Oh... and this is one of my favorite pieces of furniture, it is a one-of-a-kind handmade little chest of drawers.

That's all for now. As you were. )

The Holiday Before the Holiday, The Actual Holday Itself, and The Cold


So... when I last wrote, I whined about having to work four 12 hour
shifts in a row, right? Well, ha ha! I did NOT have to work four in a
row, on the fourth day I was granted a "holiday." What that means on
the floor where I work is, if you have the extra vacation time (and,
given that I did not use any of my vacation last year, I do) you can
sign up on the holiday list for any day that you are scheduled to work
and if we are overstaffed (I am laughing as I type that because we are
almost always short-staffed) and all of the other floors that we float
to (other Pediatric floors in the hospital) are well-staffed, then they
call you at around 5am (or 5pm if you are working the night shift)
before your 7am shift to tell you that you have a holiday-- and I was
first on the list, so I got a holiday!! Yay!! (Did you all follow that?)

The night before Thanksgiving, we went to the Wayward Coffeehouse
in the Greenwood area of Seattle. My brother's friend is the owner, so
all you Seattlites should go check it out-- they offer free wireless
and organic fair trade coffee, and they are dog friendly. They have a
game night every Wednesday and if you know me (or my family) you know
we are always up for a game. We did our part to fight global warming and
played the Dread Pirate Game.

So, for Thanksgiving, DP and flew up to visit my family in Seattle
(pretty!! mountains!!... but rainy, horribly rainy, you wouldn't want
to move there, no sireeee! ).
We stayed
with my mom and my two brothers, my aunt and her DP, and 3 family
friends (all coincidentally Canadian) came for dinner. The turkey was
perfectly cooked (the white meat was even juicy!), we played games (our
family favorite being Oh, Hell!  which is a vicious little card
game) and just generally enjoyed each others company. I do have to say,
though, since my parents got divorced about 4-5 years ago, holiday
celebrations just aren't the same without my dad around. He was always
such a part of carving the turkey and playing games that there is
something missing now. We saw him on Saturday night for a lovely
dinner, but it's just not the same. Divorce at any age sucks.

DP had a cold the week before Thanksgiving and I thought I had
successfully dodged the bullet. Well, as Thanksgiving progressed, my
throat became increasingly sore and over the next several days the sore
throat blossomed in to a full blown cold. One of my brothers came down
with it, as did one ouf our family friends, and my aunt-- 'tis the
season of Giving!! We flew back in to town Monday night and my ear
refused to pop as the plane descended causing some very unhappy ear
pain. When it didn't go away by Tuesday afternoon, I went to see my
doctor just to rule out an ear infection (which has now been somewhat
ruled in-- as in, the ear drum is red and inflamed, but I haven't been
running a temp or showing any other signs of infection except the
earache). Anyway, I was scheduled to work Wednesday (today?) day shift,
but have called in sick.  What really sucked was that my dad ended
up giving us 3 tickets to Sunday's Seahwaks-Giants game and I was too
sick to go (as was one of my brothers), so my DP and my other brother
went -- which is good for them, it was a great game, but I'm sad I had
to miss it.

Okay... the being wired from the pseudofed is wearing off now, so hopefully I can get some good sleep. Goodnight!

PS I love the movie Elf. "Smiling's my favorite!"

Okay... so now that they have given us non-Premium scum some photo
storage, I am experimenting with putting pictures on my blog... BUT,
you need to be on my protected list to see them, so let me know if you
would like to be on the list.

All By Myself

DP is away on business this week. He usually has to travel about 2-3
times a year, which is not that bad, when I was growing up my dad had
to travel for business about 6-8 times a year. This time around, while
I miss DP, I am enjoying having the apartment to myself a bit. I go to
sleep when I want to, when I wake up for work, I can turn the light on
and leave the stereo on-- when he's here I immediately turn off the
stereo (my alarm clock) and slink out of the dark room and go take a
shower and get dressed in the living room. I have actually been better
about doing laundry and dishes-- probably because when he's not here,
clearly I have to do them or they won't get done. Also, I have used the
excuse of his being gone to indulge myself a little bit-- I actually
drove to work yesterday (usually I take public transportation)-- and I *loved*
it. It's really not that far of a commute and I had to pay quite a bit
to park so I don't think I'll do it all the time, but how nice was it
to walk out of the hospital after a 12 hour shift and just get in my
car and go home? It was very nice.

Of course, DP's only been gone 4 days and he's not coming back until next Friday .
I do, of course, miss having someone to snuggle up with at night and I
just generally feel safer with him in the house. Like, I'm a grown
woman and all, but yesterday when I got up for work at 5:30am and it
was still dark out, I got in the shower and the thought occured to me
that I was in a very volunerable state if someone broke in to my
apartment. I took a very quick shower.

I am going back to working nights tonight (I work a rotating shift
where I work a month of days, then a month of nights, then a month of
days, etc) and I'm kind of glad. Working days is better in terms of my
life outside work and in terms of learning (more procedures happen
during the day at work), but night shifts are more quiet and calm and I
am ready for some quiet and calm (you hear that, babies? quiet and calm
tonight, okay?).

DP and I ventured out to the cinema this past weekend and watched "Good Night, and Good Luck" , a film about the journalist Edward R. Murrow and CBS News and their decision to go after Sen. Joe McCarthy
in the late 1950s. The movie was directed and co-written by George
Clooney who also plays Fred Friendly, Murrow's editor, in the film.
Shot in black and white, the film does a terrific, if not almost
understated, job of allowing the drama of the actual story itself to
shine through with the minimum of theatrics. And of course, there are
the unsettling parallels between what was happening then (McCarthyism) and now (the Patriot Act,
etc.) and the question of using television as a tool to enlighten and
inform, versus to entertain, insulate, and pacify. And, in my
not-so-humble opinion, actor David Strathairn's seamless portrayl of
Murrow deserves Oscar consideration come March. Overall, a very
interesting and, at only 90 minutes, streamlined film.

Finally, Something to Believe In...


www.venganza.org

A Farewell to Number 4

My tooth is dead. Even though I get to keep it in my head, I felt very
sad when my dentist bluntly told me that today. It was like a part of
me had died.

Dear, tooth number  4 (so-called by the dentist, for I never stopped to give you a name myself),

    I knew something was wrong, really wrong, when I
made my appointment. I have had many a filling in my day, so many of
your neighbors have been gutted and filled with shiny metal (oh the
early days!) or ceramic (my sneaky faux-tooth friend!) that I suppose
you knew it was only a matter of time until "Extreme Makeover: Tooth
Edition" set up shop in your front yard. Tuesday, when we drilled you
and put in a filling, I bet you thought you were just going to get the
standard touch-up. Well your complaints, in the form of continuing
sensitivity to cold, were heard and earned you the makeover royale-- a
root canal. Today, after removing the filling, she took one look at you
and pronouced you dead. "Your tooth is dead!" she practically
exclaimed. Then she hollowed you out, irrigated you with disinfecting
chemicals, stuffed you with a special type of cotton and sealed you up.
This was but the first step in your mummification, I go back in a week
and a half to suffer more poking and drilling, all in the name of
paying homage to the tooth that I failed to protect. I was negligent,
tooth number 4. I mean, I brushed you twice a day, sometimes used
mouthwash, and occasionally remembered what floss looked like and how
to use it, but my heart wasn't really in it. I want you to know that
you will not be forgotten, your legacy will live on. All the other
teeth will receive the kind of attention you were worthy of (except
numbers 12 and 7, those two cheeky bastards can bite me... OW! ow! not literally!).

Everyone raise a glass (of luke-warm liquid-- for your other legacy is
that I have now developed an aversion to cold fluid) to tooth number
4!