May 10, 2009

May 9, 2009

April 10, 2009

  • Just a reminder that many of my posts are “protected,” meaning if you want to read them, you need to have a xanga account (you don’t have to actually use it to have a xanga blog, but you need to have a sign-in name and password) and you need to let me know that you would like to be added to my protected list. You can leave a comment here if you would like to be added.

April 1, 2009

  • A Million Tiny Little Pieces

    I had meant to update for so long about life and the progressing pregnancy. Now I have to worst of all possible updates.

    Our dear, beloved son, Soren Emery was born still at 39weeks 5days on Sunday, March 29, 2009. He apparently died a few days before labor began. Maybe at some point I’ll be able to write out the full story of what happened. But my heart is so broken that I just don’t know if I can ever put it back together again. I loved him so much and wanted him so much and waited what felt like an eternity.

    He was 6lbs. 0oz., 18 inches long, with dark hair like his daddy. And just beautiful.

    I am still in the hospital and supposed to be released today. DH and I are going to go stay at my mom’s house for a few days until we feel like we can face going home.

    I hate what this is doing to DH. I hate what this is doing to me. But more than any of that I  hate that the world will never know the sweet boy who grew for 9-10 months under my heart.

    I feel so lost and broken and like nothing will ever be any good again.

January 26, 2009

January 24, 2009

  • Metallic Prune Juice and Other Delights

    First, the good news, I passed my GD screen! I know this is a somewhat controversial test, but I have a few risk factors for GD and wanted to know either way. At the same time they were drawing the blood for my GD screen, they also checked my hematocrit and, unfortunately I am on the anemic side. I really never would have known, I’m not feeling symptomatic at all. Anyway, I am now taking Floradix twice a day. My midwife said it tasted like metallic prune juice and that is a pretty apt description. DH tried it and said, “Wow, that really is like drinking prune juice from a rusty cup!”  It is supposedly absorbed well and is non-constipating (unlike iron taken in pill form) so, I’m sucking it up.

    In other news, we finally bought a glider/ ottoman for general rocking/ nursing purposes. I say finally because I’ve been perusing craigslist on and off for months. In this area, there are TONS of gliders available on craigslist and I have a hard time justifying buying a new one when there are so many used ones available. A solid 40% of them appear to be white wood with blue/ blue jean-esque covered cushions, not really my style. In fact, I have looked at many a glider in the last few weeks (both on craigslist and at stores) and find most of them to be well… um… ugly. The few that weren’t ugly were blatantly uncomfortable. When I saw the ad for the chair we bought, I thought, “Yay! Finally an acceptable combination of form and function!” It’s a nice, leather Dutailier glider with matching ottoman. When I tried it out for a few minutes at the home of the seller, it *seemed* comfortable. Once I got it home and sat in it for more than a few minutes, I realized that we’d been a bit hasty. In hindsight, maybe I should have noticed that the woman selling it was both shorter and smaller boned than me. I can see how this chair would be comfortable for her, but I feel like I’m sliding out of it, like I can’t sit far enough back in the seat and reclining it just makes it worse. Ugh. I cannot tell you how much I just wanted to be done with this and now it looks like I’m going to need to find another chair AND deal with trying to resell the one we bought. Back to the ol’ drawing board.

January 15, 2009

  • The Cuteness Continues

    The blankets were both bought a few years ago. I just loved them, so I bought them and put them away for future babies. I can’t believe “the future” is in less than three months!

January 10, 2009

  • Fine. You Win.

    Here it is, the belly picture you have all been waiting for :o ). I think I finally look pregnant, not just like I’ve gained weight. Also included, pictures of our master bedroom– I don’t even want to go into the lunacy that was involved in getting that one room put together, let’s just say that for the first few months, DH and I slept in the guest room on our old bed. We had bought the new bed frame and the new dresser which both took a month to be delivered, but we hadn’t yet bought a rug to go under the bed. The bed frame and nightstands are all one piece of furniture and we didn’t want to put them together, only to have to take them back apart and then move them in order to put a rug underneath. For some reason, it took us a long time to pick out a rug. We finally moved into the master bedroom maybe a month or so ago.


    I’m not sure why I included a picture of the car seat, but there ya’ go! We are slowly acquiring baby stuff. We have a crib that we plan to sidecar to our bed. I was having a lot of hip pain when I was trying to sleep, which started even before I got pregnant, so we ended up buying a fairly soft memory foam mattress (non-petroleum based and Okeo-tex certified that it does not contain any chemicals that are harmful to humans or the environment). I love that mattress. Within a week of sleeping on it, my hips completely stopped hurting. Anyway, I think the mattress is too soft for a newborn to sleep on, hence the sidecarring.

    This CPSIA thing is threatening to throw a huge wrench in my buying-stuff-for-the-baby plans. I went ahead and ordered a custom BabyHawk Mei Tai carrier last night because I was afraid that they might have to close up shop for awhile (even if temporarily). As far as cloth diapers go, I have bought a few of each type (prefolds, fitteds, contoured, AIOs, pockets, and wraps) and my plan was to wait until the baby shows up, try them out and then buy more of the ones that seem to work the best for us. Now, I’m wondering if I should just go ahead and buy some more infant prefolds and larger size wraps just to have something on hand if the small cloth diaper makers are forced to comply with the CPSIA and driven out of business or forced to shut down until the legislation can be amended. And have you heard about the craziness it’s causing with libraries (thanks to feebeeglee for the link)?

    Other than that… we had our first childbirth class on Tuesday. We’re taking one taught by Penny Simkin for couples planning an out-of-hospital birth. We are the only ones planning to birth at a birth center and not at home. It was mostly review for me, but it was very interesting for DH. We talked about positioning and how the baby navigates the pelvis to come out and she showed a video of a woman in labor and giving birth. It was fun to watch the other people in the class, who haven’t seen a birth before, react.

    I’ve also renewed my commitment to doing prenatal yoga. I’m taking a class Tuesdays and Thursdays. I took one back when I was about 19weeks, but have been so busy with traveling and dealing with my mom and the holidays that I just didn’t make it back. Being officially in the 3rd trimester now, if I’m going to do it, I have to make it a priority. So, I am.

    Now, I need to get on the find-a-doula ball. ASAP.